Why You Still Feel Like You're Doing EMDR Wrong (Even After Training)
TL;DR Feeling like you're doing EMDR wrong after training is extremely common and doesn't mean you're failing, it means you're paying attention. Training teaches the protocol, but real sessions are messier and more unpredictable. The uncertainty is built into EMDR itself, since you're following the client's nervous system, not directing it. The fix isn't more training, it's EMDR consultation, which is where clinical confidence is actually built.
You finished your training. You took thorough notes. You practiced the protocol, maybe even on a peer or a willing friend. You felt ready (or at least ready enough). And then you sat down with a real client, in a real session, and somewhere in the middle of a set of bilateral stimulation, a quiet voice appeared: “Am I doing this right? Is anything actually happening? Should I have moved on by now? Did I just make things worse?”
If you've heard that voice, this blog is for you.
I've been doing EMDR work for six years now, and I hear some version of this question almost every time I sit with another therapist in consultation. It doesn't matter how long they've been practicing, how thorough their training was, or how skilled they are in other modalities. The uncertainty shows up. And almost every time, they're relieved to find out they're not alone.
Let's Name What's Happening
Feeling uncertain in EMDR sessions is one of the most commonly reported experiences among trained clinicians, and one of the least talked about, leading to feelings of isolation. There's something about the culture around EMDR training that can leave therapists believing that once they've completed the coursework, they should feel confident, clear, and capable. But competence and certainty are not the same thing. And in EMDR, the absence of certainty isn't a flaw in your practice, or you as a clinician. It’s a sign that you're actually paying attention! You're not doing it wrong. You're doing it human and with care.
What "Doing It Wrong" Actually Sounds Like
This feeling doesn't always announce itself clearly so let’s get specific to offer more clarity. Sometimes it's loud and obvious. Often, it's subtle, showing up sideways in the middle of a session.
Here's how it might look for you:
“I don't know when to stop the BLS” - You start a set and then hover: should you check in now? Keep going? Your client looks like something's happening, but you're not sure what. You stop. You start again and you feel like you're just guessing.
“Nothing seems to be moving" - Your client reports the same image, the same body sensation, the same SUDS score for the third check-in in a row. You find yourself wondering if the trauma is too stuck, if you chose the wrong target, or if maybe you're just not doing enough.
“My client is really distressed and I don't know if I should keep going" - They're tearful, maybe shaking. The protocol says to stay with processing, but every instinct in your nervous system is pulling you toward your old clinical tools, the ones that feel more familiar and more in your control.
"I feel like I'm just watching and doing nothing” - EMDR asks you to hold a lot of space and interfere relatively little. If you’re trained in more active modalities, this can feel deeply uncomfortable or like you're not “earning” your place in the room.
"I think I rushed through history-taking" - Halfway through Phase 4, you start wondering if you had enough information about this client's window of tolerance, their attachment history, their stabilization. The doubt comes in waves between BLS sets.
"I don't know what to say after a set.” - The client opens their eyes. You ask "what do you notice?" and they give you something unexpected. And for a moment, your mind goes completely blank.
Why EMDR Training Can't Fully Prepare You for This
EMDR basic training is genuinely excellent at teaching the protocol. The eight phases, the standard procedures, and the theory behind adaptive information processing providing an important and solid foundation. Here's what training can't replicate: the felt sense of sitting with a dysregulated nervous system that belongs to someone else, while managing your own, in real time, with no script. Training gives you the map but the territory is different.
Real clients don't process in clean, linear waves and they go quiet when you expect movement. They move fast when you expect stillness and they bring complexity - dissociation, attachment disruptions, somatic responses you didn't read about.
In my own practice, some of my most disorienting early sessions were with clients who barely showed any outward signs of processing - no tears, no visible emotion - and yet their SUDS scores dropped steadily and their negative cognitions shifted. I kept thinking I must be missing something but I wasn't. I was just learning to trust a process that doesn't always look the way we expect.
The uncertainty you feel isn't a gap in your training. It's the gap between knowing and doing, and the only thing that closes that gap is time, support, and consultation. This is exactly why EMDR consultation exists, not as remediation, but as the legitimate next step in clinical development that every trained therapist deserves. EMDRIA recognizes this, which is why consultation hours are a required component of both EMDR Certification and the path to becoming an Approved Consultant.
The Nature of EMDR Invites Uncertainty
EMDR is inherently a model that requires you to follow, not lead. You're not directing the processing, you're creating the conditions for the client's own nervous system to do the work. That means you spend a lot of time watching, witnessing, tracking and trusting something that often feels invisible. When a client is processing, you may not see dramatic emotional release. You might see micro-movements in their face, slight shifts in breath, a pause before they report. You might see nothing at all, and the SUDS still drops.
This can feel profoundly disorienting if you're someone who has learned to read therapeutic progress through engagement, insight, or interaction. In EMDR, the evidence is quieter, and learning to trust it takes time. Your uncertainty isn't evidence that nothing is happening. Sometimes it's evidence that something is and you're just still learning the language.
Uncertainty Doesn't Mean You're Causing Harm
One of the most common fears underneath the "am I doing this wrong" feeling is a deeper one: “Am I hurting them?” This fear deserves a compassionate, direct answer: your awareness of that question is itself a protective factor. The therapists who are most likely to harm clients are usually the ones not asking it. That said, if you find yourself frequently pulling back from processing out of fear, staying in resourcing long past what the client needs, or avoiding trauma targets altogether, it's worth exploring that in consultation. There's a difference between appropriate clinical caution and anxiety-driven avoidance. A good EMDR consultation relationship helps you tell the difference.
EMDR is one of the most well-researched trauma treatments available, with strong support from organizations like the World Health Organization and the American Psychological Association. The model itself is solid and your job is to learn to trust it. Consultation is how that trust is built.
What Actually Helps (It's Not More Training)
When therapists struggling with uncertainty seek support, the most common instinct is to sign up for another training. An advanced workshop, a specialty certification, one more weekend of content. And while ongoing education has real value, more information is rarely what closes the confidence gap.
What does:
EMDR consultation - Working with a consultant who can review your cases, reflect on your clinical decisions, and help you develop pattern recognition over time is the most direct path to clinical confidence. This isn't supervision in the traditional sense, it's a collaborative space where your uncertainty becomes a resource, not a liability. EMDRIA-recognized consultation follows specific guidelines designed to support therapists in developing real clinical competence, not just protocol knowledge.
Slowing down in session - Many therapists report that their uncertainty spikes when they feel pressure to keep moving. Giving yourself permission to pause, take a breath, and return to the protocol as a grounding structure can shift everything.
Talking to other EMDR therapists - You are not the only person who has stared at a client mid-set and thought now what? Peer consultation groups normalize this experience in ways that are genuinely healing for clinicians.
Trusting the model- EMDR has decades of research behind it. The protocol works, even when it doesn't look the way you expected. Part of building confidence is developing trust in the structure itself, while staying curious about the client in front of you.
A Note on Your Nervous System
Here's something that doesn't get said enough in EMDR training: You are also a person who has a history, a nervous system, and responses that get activated in session. When a client is accessing trauma, you may feel something shift in your own body - tightness, a pull toward action, a desire to fix or soothe. This is not unprofessional. It's human. But if it goes unexamined, it can masquerade as clinical uncertainty. Sometimes "I don't know if I'm doing this right" is actually "I feel uncomfortable and I don't know why."
I've sat with this myself. There have been sessions early in my EMDR work where my instinct to intervene, to say something reassuring or redirect the client, was really my own nervous system responding to their distress. Learning to notice that and to stay present anyway, is part of what EMDR consultation helped me develop. Trauma-informed consultation creates space for exactly this kind of reflection. It's not just about what you're doing with your client, it's about what's happening in the room between both of you, and what's happening inside you.
You Deserve Support, Too
The therapists who seek out EMDR consultation aren't the ones who are struggling most. They're often the most thoughtful, committed, and attuned clinicians in the field, the ones who care enough to keep asking “how do I do this better?” If you've been sitting with the quiet voice that says “I don't think I'm doing this right,” I want to offer you a reframe: That voice isn't a verdict. It's an invitation.
An invitation to slow down, to seek support, to let your uncertainty be something you explore rather than something you hide. The most skilled EMDR therapists aren't the ones who feel certain, they're the ones who've learned to work well in the presence of not-knowing.
Ready to Feel More Grounded in Your EMDR Work?
If you're a trained EMDR therapist who's been wondering whether you're on the right track or if you've been avoiding certain clients or trauma targets because something just doesn't feel right, EMDR consultation might be exactly what you need.
I'm Lisa Osborn, LCSW and EMDR Consultant in Training (CIT). I offer individual and small group EMDR consultation for therapists at all stages of their EMDR journey. Whether you're newly trained and trying to find your footing, or more experienced and working through complex cases, consultation is a space where your questions are welcome and your uncertainty has room to breathe.
Book a consultation call here and let's figure out what you need, and build from there.
